We rush to judge. We too hastily try to answer the question “Is this good or bad?” rather than asking “What is this like?” We do it to things outside us, and we do it to ourselves. We do it when it is pointless and even harmful: most people fail to do it on the few occasions it is useful.

 

Our senses do not have those kinds of gradations. At the simplest level, we don’t know if the volume is turned to 10 or 11 without looking at the dial. Or how hot things really are, or how blue. And yet we try to score a wine 17.5 out of 20, and a film 98 out of 100.

 

There is an exasperating stage of childhood, for parents, when babies stick everything that will fit into their chubby hands directly into their mouths. This is not done solely for the pleasure of watching their parents panic – although that does seem to happen in the latter part of this stage – but so they can really feel what this thing is like. While our hands have the most nerve endings of the outer parts of our bodies, our tongues have many, many more, and babies somehow know this. By putting the object into their mouths they are really feeling what the object is like.

 

They may subsequently decide the item is good (“mmm, biscuit”) or bad (“carrot”) but most objects aren’t getting graded. They are being assessed. The experience is being assessed. They want to know what this thing is like.

 

No, don’t start sticking everything in your mouth.

 

Just don’t ask yourself whether things are good or bad. Don’t rank anything between 1 and 10 unless it is asking to be ranked. Unless it is useful to do so. Ask yourself what it is like, and enjoy the process of rediscovering things.

 

Not judging doesn’t mean not thinking about things. It just means not dismissing things between only two impossible to define characteristics of good or bad.

 

“Is this coffee good or bad?” isn’t a question that’s worth the price of the coffee. If it’s a black coffee, you can ask yourself what aroma it has. A simple starting point is to ask yourself if it is stronger than usual. Does it have sour or acidic elements to it? Is the taste similar to the smell, or is it different?

 

If you look more deeply into the experience of experiencing something, you will get more from that experience. The experience can become good, even if the coffee isn’t.

 

And that can make even a bad coffee better value for your money.